Meet My Best Friend–#MFRWAuthor Blog Hop and Challenge
Wow! We’re already five weeks into the new year, and this week for the blog challenge we’re talking about best friends.
My best friend is my husband.
Yep! That’s always my first reaction when someone – an acquaintance, my son or daughter, or a blog challenge coordinator – asks.
Love vs. Friendship
And I’ve been thinking about this recently, even before the MFRW blog challenge topic came up. An author friend of mine posted a meme to Facebook last week with this quote from Friedrich Nietzsche:
It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes for unhappy marriages.
As someone hitting thirty-five years with the same spouse, I think this is really true. And, as a romance author and reader, it’s an interesting concept to consider. How you feel about Nietzsche’s statement might impact the types of romances that resonate with you.
Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers
One popular romance trope is “friends to lovers”–two friends who grow in emotional intimacy and commitment and realize that they’ve crossed over to the spiritual, physical unity of romantic love. I like those, though I’ve never written one.
Another trope could be called “enemies to lovers”. All romances need a good conflict, but I love watching characters start out as serious enemies, learn to respect each other, and become allies, friends, and lovers.
My Bestie
Our courtship didn’t fit either romance trope, but heck, this is real life!
Here I am at Christmas with my best friend, ugly sweater and all. (I accommodate his privacy concerns by cutting off his head on a regular basis, LOL!)
What do you think? What should come first, romance or friendship? Friendship or romance?
This post is part of a blog hop, so hop along with my fellow MFRW authors and see what they have to say about this topic.
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Image credits: Wikimedia and the author
I’m with you and agree with Nietzsche! Nicely said and has given my food for thought about my own writing. Thanks!
Thanks for stopping by, S.C.!
My husband was my best friend, though we started out with passion. I don’t think it matters which came first, as long as both love and friendship exist in the relationship. Good quote from Nietzsche. He got some things right!
I totally agree, Linda. Love and friendship are both important.
I agree. Having that friendship there is just as important as the love. I’m working on a friends to lover story and I feel like my characters having that base there helps add to the trust that is needed in a relationship. While they still have that get to know you period on a romantic level, having the foundation of knowing the type of person they already are makes the transition a little smoother to me.
Sounds like an interesting story, Meka. I think it would be a fun challenge to write a friends to lovers romance.
Sounds like the chicken and egg question of which comes first. lol. I’d have to go with friendship. There’s a lot of stability and foundation in that. My husband was a friend first (I was dating his best friend!), and I know that’s kept us going (17 years wed; friends for nearly 10 years before that).
Friendship is definitely essential!
Having experienced it both ways, friendship has my vote. But you can’t plan Love.
Can you separate romantic love from friendship? I think they happen together, growing subtly until you’re in love. Lust is in there somewhere too of course.
Falling in love is different for everyone. In my case, my hubby was my boyfriend when we were ten. We dated on and off for a decade. We married at 22 and are coming up on our 26th anniversary soon. He is without a doubt my best friend and I’m glad to be his.
Great post! Its awesome you made it that long!
Thanks, Cathy. Yes, I feel like I hit the husband jackpot.